What to do... what to do?

I always have to be doing something! Whats wrong with me? I tried to sit still and do nothing, and I realized... shit, I'm doing nothing.

I think we get use to our "normal." Having a hubby, 4 kids, 2 cats & a old dog make my life very busy... super busy. This has been my "normal" for the last 8 years. Now that my littlest one is about to turn 2 in October, things are starting to calm down. I was thinking I should get a hobby maybe, learn to relax... but then it feels so abnormal... so uncomfortable!

I thought... OK, I'll read... just sit down and read, something i would do by the day before I had kids... but that lasted for about 10 minutes... Katie dropped a glass bottle of Jam on the kitchen floor, while all 4 kids were standing there... Oh gosh! I spent the next hour looking at 8 feet, making sure no one had glass in their little toes. Cleaning the floor, searching for little specks of glass, and shooing the cats from licking up the globs of grape jelly... wonderful!

Then i thought to myself... I use to write! yes, i remember when i use to write... the blurry memory of sitting at a desk at the Sun Sentinel, writing a article, double checking facts, getting interviews... ahhh... I use to love that. Oh, but their is a problem... my kiddos would not do so well on a news floor.

I use to paint! I really enjoyed to paint! I looked around my house, I found some washable markers, some crayola watercolors, a little bit of clay with lettuce smashed into it (lovely). Ya, not feeling real creative anymore.

Then my daughter called me from the other room. "Mommy, can you help me dress my Barbie's?"
"Sure", I responded, and walked into her room. She had a whole set up of pink and purple dresses laying on the floor with about 15 butt naked barbies waiting to be made fabulous.

I thought to myself, " I use to love playing Barbies!" I can't believe I was in my daughters place, just a short time ago, asking my mom to help me dress my barbies. I sat down, started dressing barbie in a very way to sexy pink mini skirt and i thought to myself... "this is what I love the most, this is the best way to use my time. my daughter's and son need my extra time still, and the fulfillment I find in giving it to them way out ways that rush I use to get seeing something I wrote in print... well kind of."

Well it time for me to sign off. Katie is upstairs yelling for me. My oldest daughter Elizabeth has just informed me she squeezed into a Minnie Mouse dress that is about 3 sizes to small and can't get out... were did I put the scissors?