The JOY of killing narcissism.

My life is full, not of myself, but of little reproductions of John and I that God has granted to our care. I've learned though pretty clear instructions, after lots of mistakes, that real joy and fulfillment for me is to put my all into my family.

There is no greater joy, and its not a sacrifice as some say. The sacrifice is realizing narcissism is a block to real joy. Its hard to fully give up yourself for any service. But once its done, and narcissism is beaten, you realize you were actually sacrificing others for you gain. You were actually destroying your spirit by not doing what really makes us happy. Having real purpose.

Real purpose is not a job, or getting through the day, or meeting friends for lunch. Real purpose is directly affecting another life in a positive way. A way that makes that person grow. A way that shows that person, that in a hard world... love is more powerful.

Real purpose is not something you gain without effort. We are naturally narcissists. Some people more then others.. varying degrees of putting ones self above others. Some achieve the beauty of learning that we were created with the purpose of leading others to love early. Some through good parents, others though life experience, but its a fundamental part of each and everyone of us.

All evil in this world comes from narcissism of one type or another. Greed, racial inequality, injustice, murder, crime. These examples were all rooted at putting ones emotions, needs, person, before another.

In 1 Peter 4:10 it states: "As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace."

It does not tell us to use that gift for our own glory and ego trip, it tells us to use that gift as a service to others.

In Acts 20:35, it tells us: "In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

We are to use the gifts, the blessings we have, granted to us by our creator, to bless those around us. None of us are perfect. But a conscious decision to help those before ourselves is fully explained throughout the Bible as the correct way to live.

Galatians 5:13-14 "For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

You see, an example of ultimate love, perfect love can really only be shown by God himself. We are weak, and our flesh, our desires, our little devil on our shoulder... is always there to make us believe in one situation or another that maybe this one time we should be putting ourselves first. Jesus explained this, and gave us real examples of how we should be actually acting. The choices we should be making. Its a effort, its a choice. He gave us that freedom.

John 13:12-14 "When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet."

Mark 10:44-45 "And whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

He's showing us here, that no matter who we are, what we are, what gifts we have.. we have to be a servant. Happiness can not be attainable any other way.

Our society has missed this. We are short term, immediate pleasure, momentary happiness.. a what can "I get outta this" kinda society. Power, greed, pleasure... these things are the "goals" we have been taught to attain for happiness.

While all the time, no ones really happy.

Men can reach the peak of stardom, and commit suicide even though they have more fans then they can count. A man can hold wealth beyond imagine, but still fell empty and alone.

Why? because they are the center of their universe. There is no true giving of ones self for a higher purpose. There is mainly small attempts at short term pleasure, which kills the spirit and separates us from God.

You see, Jesus, who has the ultimate power, as the son of the living God, would be more justified then any of us to have full ability to be self serving. But He is the exact opposite!

1 Corinthians "For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them."

He made himself a servant to all, in order to show us real love. REAL LOVE. Love based though actions. Love shown though sacrifice. Why? So we would be saved from our narcissism.

Its inspiring to see this type of life. Its exciting to live this kind of life. While not perfect.. we can make a decision to act in a manner that puts others before us. And if we act this way enough, it can become habit.

We are capable of being this way. But first you have to sacrifice something. Yourself. And then the blessings will come rolling in.

Proverbs 11:25 "Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered."

Luke 6:38 "Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

God knows we need some encouragement to make that first step of putting self away. Concentrate on His promise, and look forward to the rewards.

Overcoming Worry.

Being a mother of four has a real learning curve involved. Being a mother of four and home schooling should at times have one of those warning, treacherous roads ahead signs stuck right on it.

As mothers we worry.. A lot. It's a ingrained part that seems to activate itself as soon as the pregnancy test says positive. We worry about everything. Health, education, peer influence, society, crime, danger, car seats, food, sweets, stranger danger.. The list could honestly go on for pages. It's overwhelming. So much so, many mothers of children experience anxiety, depression, and all and out frustration of our lack of control over all the dangers and problems our kids face.

This worry is not part of Gods plan for us as mothers. In First Peter 1:5 we are told: "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."

In Matthew 6: 27-30 we read, "Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?"

So now we see as mothers that Biblically, worry is not from God. Worry clouds our faith as parents and does not allow us to really enjoy Gods care and rely on Him for the safety and health of the gifts he has given us though our children.

I am oh so guilty of this .. With four children who I am with every hour of the day, so many things arise that test my faith. I'm growing in this and believe it's a battle I will be waging for a long time to come.

Recently, my second oldest child, Victoria was diagnosed with a 20% curvature of the spine. As a 7 year old this is a pretty big deal. She would have to get more x-rays and cat scans and tests and have to wear a back brace for years. I was devastated! How hard the world is without having to wear a brace and be made fun of and feel different and insecure!

I spoke with Victoria about this before her third appointment with a specialist. I asked her if she was nervous about having to wear a brace. Her response and faith astonished me. She said, "Mom, God created me, he's my heavenly father, he loves me more then you do. He made me just the way I should be. I'm not worried at all!" I simply starred at her and cried in response. Cried my eyes right out driving down US1.. I cried because her faith was so simple and strong. I cried because she was so secure in her faith. I cried because I knew then and there my little girl was amazingly special.

My mom, a experienced mother of four, grandmother of 7 and prayer warrior for all above, came over to my house before we left to the children's hospital to get our second set of x-rays done and get her fitting for the brace. She laid her hands on Victoria and asked God for healing. I prayed with her and believed God could do it, I've seen his miracles before. I know He's in control and can do anything. Worry however was over shadowing my faith. I knew it was wrong.

Worry is so powerful for us mothers. It's all consuming if we allow it. Victoria looked at me after my mom left and said. "Well, I guess I'm healed! No need to go get a brace. I'm all better mom." I once again felt that shame from our previous talk. Her faith is so powerful! I decided then and there to get the worry on check and surrender this problem to my Lord. We got in the car, drove to the hospital and saw the specialist.

After her tests we sat in the doctors room for over a hour. I was starting to worry again. What if they saw something horrible? What if?

Almost immediately, God spoke to me with his gentle and stern voice about my faith, and gave me pure peace. I knew she was fine then. Strange for a mom to go from worry to peace in a split second.. But I did.

"Ok God" I said, "I'm back on track. She's fine, you have her in your hand."

The specialist came in with two sets of x-rays. "Ok, Victoria," he said. "This x-ray shows a very crocked spine.. 20% curvature he said looking at me." "On the second x-ray we now are only seeing a 11% curvature which we consider very normal. No brace for you my dear, your free to go home!" I sat there and said nothing for a moment.

Then I looked at the doctor and said, "How can this be?" His response was wonderful, "Sometimes we just don't question things. You don't need to fix what's not broken. Bring her back in six months for a follow up.. But I'm pretty sure she's just fine."

When the doctor left the room Victoria and I got on our hands and knees and thanked our Father for his healing, for building our faith, for loving us, for being our Great Physician.

"Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones."

God taught me a very important lesson, and my learning curve is improving because of it. Worry is not from Him. It's a hindrance to our relationship with Him and with our children. Put all your Faith in Him. Work on it everyday. Ask Him for help. Ask Him to give you the strength to overcome worry. He will provide. He is all powerful. Study your Bible, read His word, pray for stronger faith. You'll be a better mother for it.

Romans 10:17; "So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ."